Back to Beautiful Wyoming

I'm getting ready to go back to Wyoming with a group for a few weeks. Hope to be back with new posts soon. Peace.

A Walk to Remember

In the U.S., a person dies by suicide every 16 minutes, claiming more than 31,000 lives each year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in this country, third among teens and young adults.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading non-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide - those of us known as "survivors." AFSP funds research aimed at improving our understanding of suicide and ways to prevent it, as well as educational activities to increase awareness about prevention, warning signs and the mental illnesses that can lead to suicide.

Every year, cities all across the country host "Out of the Darkness Community Walks" to benefit the AFSP. By walking in one of these walks, you will be walking with thousands of people nationwide to raise money for AFSP's vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increase national awareness about depression and suicide, and assist survivors of suicide loss. Suicide is a tragedy that takes an enormous toll on family, friends, co-workers, and the community.

I urge you to go to http://www.outofthedarkness.org/ and find a walk in your area. My home town will host its third annual OOTD walk this September. I will be walking in memory of my loving husband and others lost to friends I have made through my association with the AFSP. If you can't walk, please consider making a donation to a walk near you.

For more information about the AFSP, visit:

http://www.afsp.org/

Close

A rose in a book of poems
soft and flat from the pressure
“umm” said she as the pages
turn and stir
the air with

grapefruit-scented

black chantilly
and pomegranate-flavored
lips whisper secrets
through the sleepy light of
a make-believe sun that shines

on this make-believe world

As Long As You're Mine

Ok, I'm a sucker for romance. I love the movie "The Notebook". Here are some scenes set to a song from the Broadway Musical, "Wicked". Enjoy, my fello chick-flick lovers.

Women of Leisure

I see them every morning

these women of leisure

taking their morning walks

decked out in their

Juicy Couture track suits

and their diamond earrings

sipping their insulated cup

of hot gourmet brew

as they catch up

on the latest gossip of

who's doing what and

with whom while

contemplating their ten o'clock

tennis lessons and whether

or not they should have

manicures today when they

lift their hands in an

obligatory wave

as I ease around them

on my way

to

work

Things That Make Me Go..???

1. Why can women remember an exact sentence word-for-word, in an argument with their husbands from ten years ago, along with what he was wearing at the time and his facial expressions and men can't recall a single detail? Yet... Men can remember a specific play in the third quarter of a football game from ten years ago, as well as the player's names, numbers, stats and the final score of the game, along with how many stadium hot dogs they ate?


2. Why is it so difficult to get grass to grow in the yard, but not in the cracks in the sidewalk?


3. Why is the line I'm standing in always the slowest moving, until I switch lines?


4. Why are CDs so difficult to open? Is all that tape really necessary? While we're talking about stuff that's hard to open, who came up with that thick plastic that batteries and things are packed in? It takes a chain saw to open it. I hate that stuff and it can't be good for the environment.


5. Why do items that are sugar and fat free, cost more when they have fewer ingredients?


6. Why is the time on my cell phone and my computer different? Aren't they both connected to the same atomic clock in the sky? Maybe the atomic clock needs some of those chain-saw proof batteries.


7. Why do teenagers use text messaging instead of phoning? Isn't that technology going backwards?


8. Why do people still smoke cigarettes?


9. Why does one sock always vanish from the dryer? Where does it go?


10. What happened to all those "W The President" stickers you used to see everywhere?

Chasing Cars

I am always in awe of songwriters. Just wanted to share these lyrics from a song I love.

We'll do it all

Everything On our own

We don't need Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words,

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

There all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

-Snow Patrol

A Wise Friend Said....

every end

is a beginning

and every beginning

is an end

and in this way

the ebb and flow of life

has its amazing cycles

and the love goes round

and round

and in and out

and round

and about

and all of this

is ours

Purple Dusk

It is the murmur of a brook
The laughter of a child
All the fragrance and romance
Of woods and grasses wild

It is inside the echo in
The hills that hold the dawn
In every dream that lingers
When the purple dusk is gone

It is the quiet gentleness
Of sky and waters blue
It is the all-embracing gift
That life has given you

-Thank you, amazing, talented, and wonderful friend for sharing this poem with me.

Lovely

I came across this poem while researching medieval epitaphs on the Internet one day. No author was listed, but I thought it was lovely and wanted to share it. Enjoy.

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
I am the ocean's deepest blue
The world is filled with my love for you.

My Windowless Room

You built a windowless room
and put me there
A cold and dark place
but you did not lock
the door
I did

I locked myself in that place
and let the years of darkness
wrap me in the comfort
of consistent misery

I did not long to escape
but found solace in the
emptiness of my soul
laid open by the pain
of loss and the torture
of what might have been

And then one day a single leaf
floated under the door
landing silently at my feet
I lifted it, inhaling spring
and remembered life
before the room

With the leaf in my pocket
I crossed the threshold
stepping out of the safety
of my companions of shadow
and felt the sun on my face

I turned to look,
but the room was gone
and I forgave you for
putting me there
and I forgave myself
for staying

A Song I Love

Do you always trust your first initial feeling?

Special knowledge holds truth bears believing

I turned around

And the water was closing all around

Like a glove

Like the love that had finally, finally found me

Then I knew

In the crystalline knowledge of you

Drove me thru the mountains

Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain

Drove me like a magnet

To the sea

How the faces of love have changed turning

the pages

And I have changed oh, but you...you remain

ageless

I turned around

And the water was closing all around

Like a glove

Like the love that had finally, finally found me

Then I knew

In the crystalline knowledge of you

Drove me thru the mountains

Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain

Drove me like a magnet

To the sea

Crystal-Stevie Nicks

In the Garden

I had the privilege of walking through my mother's garden this weekend. Everywhere there were signs of spring. The daffodils and narcissus were in full bloom, the hyacinths were budding and filling the air with their sweet scent. Tulips bent gracefully in the afternoon breeze and jasmine covered the arbor in a romantic tangle of glossy green leaves and bright yellow bell-shaped flowers. Tiny wild violets dotted the lawn and a few dandelions dared to show their sunny faces. The dogwood trees shimmered in the afternoon light, full of buds, ready to burst. Big fat bumble bees buzzed. Birds made their way back and forth between the cedar trees and the bird feeder, fussing at the squirrels who insisted on stealing their sunflower seeds.

I looked around and thought about my plants and flowers at my own home, suffering from neglect that comes from a person who has withdrawn from the world. Last year, I lost some plants that I have had for years and years, because like myself, I did not take care of them.

I realized that it's time for me to leave this winter behind. Spring is here and I'm ready to get back in the garden.

We Made a Mess

My mother used to always tell us "if you make a mess, you clean it up." I was thinking about this recently, at the 5 year anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq.

We (the United States) made a mess. A big one.

I am really struggling with this war. First let me say, I was against it from the beginning. I was never convinced that those grainy spy satellite photos of supposed "weapons of mass destruction" sites were indeed, just that. Once we got in there, and realized there weren't ANY WOMD, it was too late. We had done too much damage to the country's infrastructure. From there, the downward spiral began.

Today they announced that we passed the 4,000 mark, on number of U.S. deaths in Iraq. Four thousand. Some would argue that it's a tiny amount compared to the lives lost in other U.S. wars, but tell that to the parents of those 4,000 dead. And while you're at it, tell it to the parents of the soldiers of the coalition - who aren't Americans and didn't even have a "dog in this fight." Tell them. Oh, and please don't forget the innocent civilians in Iraq, the women and children, who have died. Let's not forgot those who struggle to live every day in a world of violence and chaos.

I really want us to get out of Iraq. I really, really do. I think we are fighting a losing battle. I think as soon as we withdraw, the country will clash in civil war. It's like they're just waiting for us to leave so they can kill each other.

But on the other hand, we made a mess. We have destroyed this country. Sure, Saddam was a madman. Sure, he was a murderer and tyrant. But is this country better off now because the U.S. took this action? Most people would say "no" not by a long shot.

I heard that the U.S. is having a difficult time getting the Iraqi government to take responsibility for even the smallest of duties - like paying teachers. Even though the U.S. is pouring billions of dollars in to Iraq, schools aren't getting built, teachers aren't getting paid, electricity is not coming on, unless the U.S. pays for these things directly. How do we get the Iraqi government to take a leadership position? How do we get the Iraqi government to be fair to all its citizens? How do we fix this mess that WE created?

The five year anniversary of a war that Cheney said "might last 60 days." I really have no idea what the solution is. I do know that the war is creating a huge strain on our economy (unless you're an oil company or military contractor).

I think we owe it to the Iraqi people to fix what we broke. I'm just not sure how we do that - is it fixable? Are we just spinning our wheels? How many more soldiers have to die because of a lie?

Finally, will the world ever evolve in to peace? Why is it so difficult to love our neighbors?

Orchids Bloom

In the Deep

In the

Dark

quiet Secrets

wrapped in promises

shielded by Love

Glimmer

in the Golden Light

of Hope

and

Hopelessness

the Cherry Blossoms

Fall

the Butterfly

Lands

Orchids Bloom

elements combine

and I smell the wet grass

and Feel your Hand

in Mine

Cat Lady

I’ve got a birthday coming up. Not a milestone birthday…more of a “tweener”… between a semi-milestone and a milestone. Figured it out yet? Me either. Nor have I figured out why this birthday is bothering me so badly.

Maybe it’s because I’m alone and don’t have my sweet husband home to forget my birthday and then remember it suddenly and go all out making up for it? Maybe it’s because the reality of my age is starting to show in tiny lines around my eyes? Maybe it’s because I’m hiring people who were born after I had already graduated from college? Maybe it’s because I think about the years left in my life and there doesn’t seem to be so many? Maybe it’s because there are a lot of things I thought I would do by this age that I haven’t done? Humm. Maybe.

I certainly don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I’d like to forget it actually. If any of my friends are reading this, this is not a hint! On the contrary, I prefer to let the day pass unnoticed, in a peaceful, ALONE manner (with a few margaritas to ease any suffering). I ask you to please ignore it! I don’t want to be reminded that I have a better chance of being struck by lightening than EVER re-marrying – at THIS age. Thanks, Mr. Guy-Who-Conducts-Such-Cruel-and-Heartless-Polls. You suck. And by the way, I don’t think I want to date, much less re-marry. I think I’d make a great little old spinster lady with 500 cats.

It could happen.

Come Into My Sleep

Now that mountains of meaningless words
and oceans divide us
And we each have our own set of stars
to comfort and guide us
Come into my sleep
Come into my sleep, oh yeah
Dry your eyes and do not weep
Come into my sleep

Swim to me through the deep blue sea
upon the scattered stars set sail
Fly to me through this love-lit night
from one thousand miles away
And come into my sleep
Come into my sleep oh yeah
As midnight nears and shadows creep
Come into my sleep

Bind my dreams up in your tangled hair
For I am sick at heart, my dear
Bind my dreams up in your tangled hair
For all the sorrow it will pass, my dear

Take your accusation, your recriminations
and toss them into the ocean blue
Leave your regrets and impossible longings
and scatter them across the sky behind you
And come into my sleep
Come into my sleep
For my soul to comfort and keep
Come into my sleep
-Nick Cave

Landslide

Denied

Please do not come here

looking for absolution

and peace
the earth revolves

around the sun

no matter what
so do not come here

seeking

signs of life

and a pat on the back
you seem to be

?confused?

about what this is
I do not blame you
it is easier to think

about other things,

happier things
time passes

but does not heal me
and coming here

will not make you

feel any better
about yourself

or me

Mouse Heart

The blood runs cold

through her empty heart
a heart so badly wounded
though it may one day heal
will be scarred and reformed

tender flesh replaced

with wire and steel
reinforced with iron and ice
beating faintly

like the tiny heart of a mouse
inside a bunker

buried deep