The Guardian

From beyond the

deep shadow-years

a slant of light reaches the

dusty corners of the dream

and stirs the sleeping guardian

of the future

who is so lost

in his task

that he has become

the very walls that

surround the treasure

he protects, though he can

barely remember why

until

the light reminds him.

The Best Job Ever

My daughter graduates from college in December. She's been a little distraught about being uncertain about her chosen career (she's still undecided) and if/when she should go to law school/grad. school, etc. I can relate.

Knowing that I am unhappy at work, a good friend asked me recently what I "really wanted to do" if I could do anything for work. I found myself unable to give an answer. It has bothered me every since. I have never been in a position (financially) to do whatever I wanted to do and so I have never allowed myself to dream of such a thing. I've been the "breadwinner" of the family since 1986, and most recently of course, a single income family with a daughter in college and two mortgage payments.

So now, I spend time wondering...what would I do? If I could do anything? It seems like the only answer is nothing. And I wonder if I've killed any chance of ever really being able to answer that question. Maybe I'm just so burned out, that part of my brain is goulash. I hate to say that my "dream ability" has been completely killed off, but I'm thinking it has. The years of stress have finally beaten the hope out of me. Not even Calgon can take me away, anymore.

But forget about me, this is about my daughter. I want her to feel as though she has the time to figure this thing out, find her passion, and then find a way to make it her life's work.

In the end, that will make me happier than finding my own "perfect job" because being her mother truly is the joy that sustains me.

Summer's End

Summer curls and yawns and stretches the days.

Nearing the end of her time she colors the landscape

with zinnias and roses

and paints the moon with golden light.

Waiting for Autumn to take her place,

she gives her best in butterfly wings

and the tall fields of grass, rolling gently to the sky.

Long Overdue

I'm headed to Rosemary Beach for a long overdue vacation. I'll be back after the 18th, hopefully with a nice tan and well-rested.

http://www.rosemarybeach.com/

see you soon!

Storm

The tall grass

bends

rolling in waves of green

as the sky

rumbles and covers the sun

in grey paint

swirled together

in an ominous show of

nature's humbling canvas

Dating 101 in 2008

Ok, so after months of prodding and pushing and coaching, my therapist has convinced me to try online dating - seriously. So, I recently signed up for a Match.com and eHarmony account. I'm a little embarrassed admitting to this - but honestly - I've come to the conclusion that this is the way people meet each other in this day and age (gawd, I just sounded like a senior citizen).

For the past 23 years of my life, I've been someones wife and/or mother, so it has been a LONG time since I have found myself single and available for dating. (I find this thought terrifying). Back in college, in my dating hay day, you met people at discos and bars (I'm laughing at the absurdity of this - although it's true). I suppose I could meet someone by chance at an airport, or coffee shop, or hit him with my car, but in this new world of technology, romance is now found online. Everyone is doing it. I am a sceptic, but we'll see.

Anyway, part of my "assignment" before my next counseling session, is to come back with a list of qualities I would seek in the "perfect man" for me. I thought it would be fun to invite my blog readers to give me some help here, and make some suggestions. What do you think? Especially if you know me, let's hear it!

Note to pervy friends: keep it clean!

Perdido Key

Summer's golden light
washes us in shimmery warmth
as the sun slowly sinks
below the ocean
and the earth sighs softly....
the day is done

Happy Independence Day!

Dragonfly

I've seen several dragonflies lately. When I went out to the mailbox a few days ago, a dragonfly escorted me, landing briefly before zig-zagging away. Then yesterday, I went out in to the courtyard to water my flowers, and saw two dragonflies, one of which almost collided with my nose. Today I received a "thinking of you" card with, you guessed it, a dragonfly on the front.

So I Googled "symbolism of dragonfly" and was amazed at the information on the internet. Seems the dragonfly is a powerful totem in Native American, Celtic, and Japanese culture.

Inhabiting the two worlds of water and air, the dragonfly goes through quite a metamorphosis. Born in lakes, ponds, and swamps, it actually spends most of its life underwater, only to shed its old skin after several years and live a few short weeks, flying along the water on luminous wings.

Dragonflies represent the powers of light and transformation, and the ability to see through illusion. They bring prosperity and harmony. The dragonfly, as a totem, teaches skillful action while maintaining a free and joyful sense of being.

Dragonflies symbolize illusion, dreams, change, enlightenment, swiftness, dreams and seeing the truth. They are messengers of the elemental world. They are connected to Summer. Dragonfly is the essence of the winds of change. Dragonfly medicine always beckons you to seek out the parts of your habits which you need to change.

The Dragonfly by Alfred Lord Tennyson

Today I saw the dragon-fly

come from the wells where he did lie.

An inner impulse rent the veil

of his old husk:

from head to tail

came out clear plates of sapphire mail.

He dried his wings:

like gauze they grew;

thro' crofts and pastures wet with dew

a living flash of light he flew.

Yesterday

I thought about you on the way home from work yesterday

I had something to tell you, something I needed to share with you

and for a split second, my mind forgot, that you were gone

for that fraction of time,

the world was right

two years vanished,

like a nightmare in the light of day

and I was happy,

truly,

for a moment.

When You Only Have 100 Years to Live

I'm 15 for a moment

Caught in between 10 and 20

And I'm just dreaming

Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment

She feels better than ever

And we're on fire

Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you

Time to buy and time to lose 15,

there's never a wish better than this

When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment

Still the man, but you see

I'm a they

A kid on the way

A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment

The sea is high

And I'm heading into a crisis

Chasing the years of my life

Within a morning star 15

I'm all right with you 15,

there's never a wish better than this

When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by

Suddenly you're wise

Another blink of an eye

67 is gone

The sun is getting high

We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment

Dying for just another moment

And I'm just dreaming

Counting the ways to where you are 15

there's still time for you

22 I feel her too

33 you're on your way

Every day's a new day... 15

there's still time for you

Time to buy and time to choose

Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this

When you only got 100 years to live

-Five for Fighting

Savannah

I'm in Savannah, vacationing with my little sister. Savannah is beautiful, historic, gracious, inspiring and sultry. Our hotel is wonderful. We're having a blast :-)
http://www.mansiononforsythpark.com/

Denver Takeoff

Purple ribbon clouds
ripple with fire as
the setting sun
hugs the horizon
painting the sky in
gold and pink
stretching out to
palest blue and
high above
a silver half moon
shines like a bright
light on a lonely road
calling me home...

Back to Beautiful Wyoming

I'm getting ready to go back to Wyoming with a group for a few weeks. Hope to be back with new posts soon. Peace.

A Walk to Remember

In the U.S., a person dies by suicide every 16 minutes, claiming more than 31,000 lives each year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in this country, third among teens and young adults.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading non-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide - those of us known as "survivors." AFSP funds research aimed at improving our understanding of suicide and ways to prevent it, as well as educational activities to increase awareness about prevention, warning signs and the mental illnesses that can lead to suicide.

Every year, cities all across the country host "Out of the Darkness Community Walks" to benefit the AFSP. By walking in one of these walks, you will be walking with thousands of people nationwide to raise money for AFSP's vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increase national awareness about depression and suicide, and assist survivors of suicide loss. Suicide is a tragedy that takes an enormous toll on family, friends, co-workers, and the community.

I urge you to go to http://www.outofthedarkness.org/ and find a walk in your area. My home town will host its third annual OOTD walk this September. I will be walking in memory of my loving husband and others lost to friends I have made through my association with the AFSP. If you can't walk, please consider making a donation to a walk near you.

For more information about the AFSP, visit:

http://www.afsp.org/

Close

A rose in a book of poems
soft and flat from the pressure
“umm” said she as the pages
turn and stir
the air with

grapefruit-scented

black chantilly
and pomegranate-flavored
lips whisper secrets
through the sleepy light of
a make-believe sun that shines

on this make-believe world

As Long As You're Mine

Ok, I'm a sucker for romance. I love the movie "The Notebook". Here are some scenes set to a song from the Broadway Musical, "Wicked". Enjoy, my fello chick-flick lovers.

Women of Leisure

I see them every morning

these women of leisure

taking their morning walks

decked out in their

Juicy Couture track suits

and their diamond earrings

sipping their insulated cup

of hot gourmet brew

as they catch up

on the latest gossip of

who's doing what and

with whom while

contemplating their ten o'clock

tennis lessons and whether

or not they should have

manicures today when they

lift their hands in an

obligatory wave

as I ease around them

on my way

to

work

Things That Make Me Go..???

1. Why can women remember an exact sentence word-for-word, in an argument with their husbands from ten years ago, along with what he was wearing at the time and his facial expressions and men can't recall a single detail? Yet... Men can remember a specific play in the third quarter of a football game from ten years ago, as well as the player's names, numbers, stats and the final score of the game, along with how many stadium hot dogs they ate?


2. Why is it so difficult to get grass to grow in the yard, but not in the cracks in the sidewalk?


3. Why is the line I'm standing in always the slowest moving, until I switch lines?


4. Why are CDs so difficult to open? Is all that tape really necessary? While we're talking about stuff that's hard to open, who came up with that thick plastic that batteries and things are packed in? It takes a chain saw to open it. I hate that stuff and it can't be good for the environment.


5. Why do items that are sugar and fat free, cost more when they have fewer ingredients?


6. Why is the time on my cell phone and my computer different? Aren't they both connected to the same atomic clock in the sky? Maybe the atomic clock needs some of those chain-saw proof batteries.


7. Why do teenagers use text messaging instead of phoning? Isn't that technology going backwards?


8. Why do people still smoke cigarettes?


9. Why does one sock always vanish from the dryer? Where does it go?


10. What happened to all those "W The President" stickers you used to see everywhere?

Chasing Cars

I am always in awe of songwriters. Just wanted to share these lyrics from a song I love.

We'll do it all

Everything On our own

We don't need Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words,

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

There all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

-Snow Patrol