Monday, October 01, 2007

Tattered Threads


I live in a world full of people
yet I am alone
They move around me
in a blur
as I stand frozen in the shadows
cast by men with cold hearts

Between the world of the living
and the dead I wander
a ghost passing unnoticed
through the eternal dimness
held together by tattered threads

I shout, but no one hears me
lost in the roar of everyday life
they forget the forgotten and
send me the unspoken message

that indeed even God has forsaken me

7 comments:

M T said...

I don't think I've ever seen anyone quite as self abosrbed and content in their misery as you seem to be.
Wouldn't it be a shame, to possibly wake up some day and look back on years and years and years of wasted time spent crying in self perpetuated misery.
Raise the blinds and enjoy the sunshine......you can wallow in the darkness when you're dead.
Come on........seriously.

Itsa Mystery said...

Dear "M.T."

"Content in my misery" might be a little harsh since I am obviously not content. My blog is my way to vent dark emotions and to wrestle with the grief and pain of my husband's suicide. It is deeply personal, and extremely real. If you find it uncomfortable to read about my real life struggle, then I'm sorry. I am not writing for your entertainment. There is plenty of fluff on the internet to distract you M.T., so why waste time experiencing raw, unfiltered emotion?

You have no idea how far I've come, and how much positive progress I have made. Please don't judge me based on this personal journal of my recovery. I am not the woman I was before, but in the end, I will be a better one because of this journey.

I find your comments misguided and cruel.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Itsa Mystery, can you believe how crazy this world is, when it's possible for some loser sitting around in their sweat pants with no life and nothing better to do than post mean and meaningless drivel on the heartfelt postings of a sincere person who lost a loved one and needed to grieve? Isn't that a mystery? It is. Itsa mystery. But here's what's not a mystery. YOu are wonderful to share your self with others who have suffered loss so that they can find comfort and solace in their moment of grief. You are a wonder, and you have no need to wonder any further about the idiot in their sweatpants. Just chalk that loser up to the mystery that he or she is. And thank you again for sharing yourself so wonderfully.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and the loser in his or her sweatpants with no life also happens to be simply awful at spelling. I'm in awe of how bad that loser's spelling is. Aren't you? Thanks again.

Randy said...

Thank you for your wonderful blog. I cannot begin to understand what you must have gone through to lose your life partner is such an awful way. Good for you that you want to heal it, move through it, vent it and acknowledge it and grieve so that you can let go of it and move on. This was a very brave thing for you to do. And that you do it with art and poetry, with grace and honesty, speaks volumes about your character and goodness. I do not know why someone so empty/M.T. found it necessary to write something heartless on your blog, but then, as you know firsthand, life can sometimes be cruel. Don't let it ruffle your feathers. It's not about you. When people find it necessary to point their fingers, it is usually about themselves. I'm guessing this sad person is the self absorbed person they describe, projecting their loneliness and distress onto you, and is probably sitting in the dark with the blinds closed feeling sorry for themselves as they lash out at you.

Again, thank you. Your blog brings comfort to others. You've done a wonderful thing here. Let those who don't know you and don't know what they are talking about take their shots, it doesn't amount to a hill of beans.

Shane said...

I do not usually react harshly to misguided and insensitive comments. But the words of MT bother me. Mate - you have NO idea of how you can hurt people. You offer simplistic and meaningless words that show your contempt of the feelings of others. Wounds take time to heal, and do not improve simply by telling them to. Heal thyself.

Fashion-Holiday-Health said...

thank you sharing