Monday, March 24, 2008

We Made a Mess

My mother used to always tell us "if you make a mess, you clean it up." I was thinking about this recently, at the 5 year anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq.

We (the United States) made a mess. A big one.

I am really struggling with this war. First let me say, I was against it from the beginning. I was never convinced that those grainy spy satellite photos of supposed "weapons of mass destruction" sites were indeed, just that. Once we got in there, and realized there weren't ANY WOMD, it was too late. We had done too much damage to the country's infrastructure. From there, the downward spiral began.

Today they announced that we passed the 4,000 mark, on number of U.S. deaths in Iraq. Four thousand. Some would argue that it's a tiny amount compared to the lives lost in other U.S. wars, but tell that to the parents of those 4,000 dead. And while you're at it, tell it to the parents of the soldiers of the coalition - who aren't Americans and didn't even have a "dog in this fight." Tell them. Oh, and please don't forget the innocent civilians in Iraq, the women and children, who have died. Let's not forgot those who struggle to live every day in a world of violence and chaos.

I really want us to get out of Iraq. I really, really do. I think we are fighting a losing battle. I think as soon as we withdraw, the country will clash in civil war. It's like they're just waiting for us to leave so they can kill each other.

But on the other hand, we made a mess. We have destroyed this country. Sure, Saddam was a madman. Sure, he was a murderer and tyrant. But is this country better off now because the U.S. took this action? Most people would say "no" not by a long shot.

I heard that the U.S. is having a difficult time getting the Iraqi government to take responsibility for even the smallest of duties - like paying teachers. Even though the U.S. is pouring billions of dollars in to Iraq, schools aren't getting built, teachers aren't getting paid, electricity is not coming on, unless the U.S. pays for these things directly. How do we get the Iraqi government to take a leadership position? How do we get the Iraqi government to be fair to all its citizens? How do we fix this mess that WE created?

The five year anniversary of a war that Cheney said "might last 60 days." I really have no idea what the solution is. I do know that the war is creating a huge strain on our economy (unless you're an oil company or military contractor).

I think we owe it to the Iraqi people to fix what we broke. I'm just not sure how we do that - is it fixable? Are we just spinning our wheels? How many more soldiers have to die because of a lie?

Finally, will the world ever evolve in to peace? Why is it so difficult to love our neighbors?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Orchids Bloom


In the Deep

In the

Dark

quiet Secrets

wrapped in promises

shielded by Love

Glimmer

in the Golden Light

of Hope

and

Hopelessness

the Cherry Blossoms

Fall

the Butterfly

Lands

Orchids Bloom

elements combine

and I smell the wet grass

and Feel your Hand

in Mine

Cat Lady

I’ve got a birthday coming up. Not a milestone birthday…more of a “tweener”… between a semi-milestone and a milestone. Figured it out yet? Me either. Nor have I figured out why this birthday is bothering me so badly.

Maybe it’s because I’m alone and don’t have my sweet husband home to forget my birthday and then remember it suddenly and go all out making up for it? Maybe it’s because the reality of my age is starting to show in tiny lines around my eyes? Maybe it’s because I’m hiring people who were born after I had already graduated from college? Maybe it’s because I think about the years left in my life and there doesn’t seem to be so many? Maybe it’s because there are a lot of things I thought I would do by this age that I haven’t done? Humm. Maybe.

I certainly don’t want to make a big deal out of it. I’d like to forget it actually. If any of my friends are reading this, this is not a hint! On the contrary, I prefer to let the day pass unnoticed, in a peaceful, ALONE manner (with a few margaritas to ease any suffering). I ask you to please ignore it! I don’t want to be reminded that I have a better chance of being struck by lightening than EVER re-marrying – at THIS age. Thanks, Mr. Guy-Who-Conducts-Such-Cruel-and-Heartless-Polls. You suck. And by the way, I don’t think I want to date, much less re-marry. I think I’d make a great little old spinster lady with 500 cats.

It could happen.

Come Into My Sleep


Now that mountains of meaningless words
and oceans divide us
And we each have our own set of stars
to comfort and guide us
Come into my sleep
Come into my sleep, oh yeah
Dry your eyes and do not weep
Come into my sleep

Swim to me through the deep blue sea
upon the scattered stars set sail
Fly to me through this love-lit night
from one thousand miles away
And come into my sleep
Come into my sleep oh yeah
As midnight nears and shadows creep
Come into my sleep

Bind my dreams up in your tangled hair
For I am sick at heart, my dear
Bind my dreams up in your tangled hair
For all the sorrow it will pass, my dear

Take your accusation, your recriminations
and toss them into the ocean blue
Leave your regrets and impossible longings
and scatter them across the sky behind you
And come into my sleep
Come into my sleep
For my soul to comfort and keep
Come into my sleep
-Nick Cave

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Denied

Please do not come here
looking for absolution
and peace
the earth revolves
around the sun
no matter what
so do not come here
seeking
signs of life
and a pat on the back
you seem to be
?confused?
about what this is
I do not blame you
it is easier to think
about other things,
happier things
time passes
but does not heal me
and coming here
will not make you
feel any better
about yourself
or me

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Mouse Heart

The blood runs cold
through her empty heart
a heart so badly wounded
though it may one day heal
will be scarred and reformed
tender flesh replaced
with wire and steel
reinforced with iron and ice
beating faintly
like the tiny heart of a mouse
inside a bunker
buried deep

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Winter

The winter vine curls around the post
frosted leaves stretch and shiver
reaching for the distant sun

The blackbirds come in clouds of
ebony iridescent wings, moving and shifting
then landing in unison on the sleeping grass

In front of the fire I sit lost in the flames
wrapped in the quiet of winter’s day
For a moment, I think all is as it should be

Monday, November 19, 2007

Without You

The sun sets in the west
and in the fading light
I see my reflection in the window
another day of my life is over
another day without you

The leaves of Autumn fall
drifting slowly to the wet earth
I look at your photograph and wonder
how many seasons will pass
how many seasons without you

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Flood


When the rain comes and it will come
will the birds sing, will the bells ring?
Who will know that it is done?

Swept away in the churning flood
carried on foam of angry crests
the dark sky rushes overhead
heavy with the black clouds of dread
and the wet trees stand
oblivious on the shore

Monday, October 01, 2007

Tattered Threads


I live in a world full of people
yet I am alone
They move around me
in a blur
as I stand frozen in the shadows
cast by men with cold hearts

Between the world of the living
and the dead I wander
a ghost passing unnoticed
through the eternal dimness
held together by tattered threads

I shout, but no one hears me
lost in the roar of everyday life
they forget the forgotten and
send me the unspoken message

that indeed even God has forsaken me

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Today


The green rolling hills flash by
carrying me further away from you
great white clouds hang high
in summer sky of deepest blue

My heart desires not
to travel this road
that takes me far from
where I want to be
but we both know
that the sun will rise
and tomorrow will come
so today,
I
must
leave








Tuesday, August 07, 2007

In My Dreams


Lost in the dim of twilight waking
I cling to dreams
and search for you

beyond the stars
around the Southern Cross
to the end of the earth

I reach for your hand as
the day breaks
and in the cold light of dawn
I hear your voice and know
I will see you again
in my dreams

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Drowning


The rope slips through my fingers
and I begin to sink like a river stone
towards the bottom of the deep blue sea
arms floating above my head
hands waving in the currents
like drifting ocean grass
the light of the sun fading
Darker and colder and deeper
the water becomes
until finally, my feet touch the sand
So soft and quiet is the ocean floor
where the only sound is my own heart beating

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Guardian

Bright stars shine in skies of slate
In this place of dreams and whispers
Every wish the dark night offers
Echoes morning’s hopeful song
Love is near. (The forest sighs)
We have been waiting…
all our lives.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Beautiful Wyoming


Just returned from Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Beautiful place. Great people. Clean Air. Peace.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Tiny Angel

Yesterday, I lost a true and dear friend and member of the family. She had four furry little legs, a pom-pom of a tail, and a permanent smile on her sweet tiny teddy bear face. She was my constant companion for ten years, meeting me at the door every day with unconditional love and joy. She was happiest when she was in my lap getting her soft little ears scratched. Her expressions often made me smile, and her snoring made me giggle.

I loved her from the first moment I saw her – all 8 furry ounces of her. Full grown, she was a whopping nine pounds. She was a gentle, good-natured animal who loved everyone. She never bit, or even growled at a single soul. They say all dogs go to heaven. If that is true, then heaven just got a little sweeter. I love you Bama Girl!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Future Unknown


Run with me to the edge of reason
Sail the uncharted waters
Fly the unfamiliar skies
Leap the chasm of faith

Come with me to this strange, exotic place
a realm of foreign mystery, and fear
a land where you will never know,
what

happens

next

Friday, March 16, 2007

Toujours Provence

I'm leaving Wednesday for Provence and will be out of the country for a couple of weeks. This trip will be different from the trip last year, for many reasons. This time, there will be almost 300 people with me.


See you at my journey's end.