Knowing that I am unhappy at work, a good friend asked me recently what I "really wanted to do" if I could do anything for work. I found myself unable to give an answer. It has bothered me every since. I have never been in a position (financially) to do whatever I wanted to do and so I have never allowed myself to dream of such a thing. I've been the "breadwinner" of the family since 1986, and most recently of course, a single income family with a daughter in college and two mortgage payments.
So now, I spend time wondering...what would I do? If I could do anything? It seems like the only answer is nothing. And I wonder if I've killed any chance of ever really being able to answer that question. Maybe I'm just so burned out, that part of my brain is goulash. I hate to say that my "dream ability" has been completely killed off, but I'm thinking it has. The years of stress have finally beaten the hope out of me. Not even Calgon can take me away, anymore.
But forget about me, this is about my daughter. I want her to feel as though she has the time to figure this thing out, find her passion, and then find a way to make it her life's work.
In the end, that will make me happier than finding my own "perfect job" because being her mother truly is the joy that sustains me.